How to Stop Watching Movies Late at Night

Reader Question:

David, Help! I can’t stop watching movies online when it’s time to sleep. I seem to be enjoying interesting it, but I feel a sick sense of satisfaction even when I’m watching. It’s almost like I’ve lost control of myself and I feel powerless to do anything. I know I should sleep, but I avoid it. I feel anxious. I think that I won’t be able to sleep anyway, or that it will be hard to fall asleep. I don’t feel tired. And I think: “why should I have to force myself to sleep? This should come naturally.” I resent the fact that I have to force myself to sleep and this makes me rebel against it! So, I say ‘fuck it’, and just refuse to sleep. My grades are suffering and I wake up exhausted for college every morning. Some days I skip classes altogether. This is driving me crazy and I need your help! Brian….

My Response:

This will only be solved by seeing that watching movies this late is giving you absolutely nothing – zero. Unless you truly believe, and feel this to be true, you will feel deprived (like you’re making a sacrifice) when it comes time to make the decision to go to bed. The belief that needs to be examined in this case is: “Watching movies at night is so much more fun than ending the day by other means.” These means can be any other alternative. It might involve simply sitting with your own thoughts. It might involve journaling/writing. It might involve reading. The specifics don’t matter. But unless you truly believe that the healthier, more beneficial behaviours are actually more enjoyable than watching movies, you will have problems here. You will feel resentful, as you alluded to in your question.

You’re having thoughts like “I love movies. They’re so entertaining and enjoyable. It helps me switch off’…etc… But clearly you don’t enjoy the experience as a whole. It is hurting your life. So, let’s see if we can remove these thoughts. They are what’s causing you to self-sabotage and resist what you really want.

What does opening the web browser to watch movies (or any kind of videos) at 11pm really give you? Be really honest in this. If you watch music videos for example, do you really feel inspired by the music? Probably not, because you’re feeling guilty for not sleeping. If you watch political videos, do you really learn anything new? Probably not because you’re probably watching something that already fits your existing beliefs (most people watch videos that confirm their beliefs rather than challenge them). If you watch a movie, are you really enjoying it? Probably not, because most movies suck, and again, the guilty feeling is there. If you watch funny, humorous videos, are you really enjoying it? Probably not, because I bet you hardly ever truly LOL at any of them! It’s all a way to escape a problem you feel exists within yourself. Which brings me to the good news. You probably feel that if you don’t have your late night internet binge, how else will you be able to have fun at night? Asking you to ‘give it up’ won’t work because you’ll resist. You need an alternative. Something much better and enjoyable to replace it with. If there truly wasn’t a better alternative, we really would have a problem. And forcing yourself to give up something you believe you can’t go without is no alternative at all. It simply doesn’t work.

The alternative to this late night internet binging is going to become one of the most exciting parts of your day – and it will help you happily fall asleep in no time as a by-product. You’re going to start using this time proactively to really look at what’s bothering you. You’re going to examine your life during this period of time. And it’s going to change everything…

I want you to start looking forward to the end of your day because here, you’re going to start making magic happen. You’ll go to bed, and leave the web browser closed. You won’t need it to feel great. All you’ll be doing is sitting in your bed and engaging in some contemplative, deep thought. The problem isn’t that we overthink at night. It’s that we avoid truly deep thinking. We worry, and worry is a very low level of consciousness.

The reason this time is so special and exciting, is that we never really get a chance to do this at any other point in the day. We are always too busy or preoccupied. The time before you go to sleep is the time that will determine how your day goes tomorrow. I’m literally talking about a way of controlling the future here! Get excited!

You can just sit deeply in thought. You can journal in a notepad. You can even write on your laptop. I don’t buy the hysteria about LCD light keeping you awake. It’s only fear and avoidance that keeps people awake. You can meditate. You can reach out to that inner voice for solutions. That voice is just waiting for you to give it an opportunity to help. All the answers are there, waiting to be discovered. You’ll fine practical, easily achievable action steps that inspire you and put you at ease. You just need to look. Really look.

This process takes you from a low level of consciousness (worry), gradually upwards. You’ll start to feel better almost immediately. By the end of the process, you’ll feel at ease and, often, really excited about the prospect of ‘tomorrow’.

The process has no time limit. You will simply start and see where it leads you. You might find that you start to feel better after 15 minutes. You might need an hour, or even two hours. But one thing you’ll notice is that sleep will find you rather than you having to find it. It will come naturally.

Once you feel sleepy, you might want to read for a bit. It’s all about personal tweaks to your alternative to internet binging. You might not want to read. Whatever works. It’s the process of deep thought that really matters.

You will come to cherish this time every day. You’ll look forward to it. You’ll start to forget why you ever thought internet binging was such an enjoyable late-night activity.

Oh, and you’re life will get infinitely better!

Hope this helps,

David

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